Simply Peg's Place

L 'ame de la vie... 'The beautiful soul of life'

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Dancing...with a Dash of Breast Cancer

Does breast cancer come in Dashes...kinda like a sprinkle of it? It does. I decided to finally share...because, well I have learned so much! I new there were many different types of Breast Cancer...however I either do or don't! This is not true. 

My lil side journey here started in September. Some Breast cancer is highly curable..mortality rates of 95% plus...but it is still still IS! and therefore you get to walk through the phone call's off..we need to do a diagnostic mammogram...and then...hummm and we see something we need to look closer at. Then because I am new in this area I live in..we wait..for the old records and mammograms to get to the right hands. Then there is the phone call, "we need to do a biopsy"...and even tho everything in me knows..I will be fine..I get to walk a walk I never new...and its is humbling...I get to be..."one of those women" the ones fighting breast cancer. I get to walk the hallways, and talk to doctors and surgeons...
and I get to have a biopsy. 

A biopsy is Something I never thought I would have...because, well, breast cancer doesn't run in my family. For me the biopsy was much better then I thought it may be...the kindness and gentleness of everyone working in this area...truly floors me.

 And then I am told...we have to go back in... so in a nutshell I have cancer cell's that are contained. I had no clue, that even in a biopsy there are degree's and stages!!! and there are! and then again with every different is different. 

So On my biopsy scale and it has 5 different stages....I am a 3. what this means is....I have cancer cells that unlike me...are not thinking outside there box's yet...they have no clue how much havoc they can create yet! (and I am very happy they don't know!! )So I am having surgery or a lumpectomy to get these cells. These cells then will be biopsied to make sure they are not reaching yet...reaching cells are cells that are starting to realize they are in a box and can get OUT! If by chance these cells are reaching, that then is stage 4 in this biopsy..and they will treat it like stage 5...and stage 5 is invasive breast cancer....It is the lowest form of breast cancer...yet, there are still procedures...there are still marks and incisions and battle scars...If the cells are reaching or stage 4... it will mean radiation...just like invasive breast cancer. These are things I was just not aware off...

As I go to all my appointments..I wear this...

A gift from Vicky Westra and her family!

Everyone notice's it. The surgeon said, "I saw that under your gown...
she looks closer... I tell her about Vicky... she then reaches to truly look again!

I notice that all my sense's are in high gear, the way my foot steps sound in
the hospital corridor. the swish of the elevator and how sterile it is. A younger women
crying, her fear of her biopsy so real...facial expression's, act's of kindness
everywhere..and God moment's..
when I heard something I needed to hear..

For me...  walking this on my own...(no spouse)
it's the scars..not having felt love in so long...
It's the nurturing of the physical me..
I have always viewed myself a little less then..due to my father,
so I have insecurities in the physical... it's 
worrying about how the breast will look after all this...
It may seem silly, I always had issues with 'the girls'
I never wanted to be busty!
but now..I Like them, I want them to be ok!
It' sheer Vulnerability

And so as I walk this lil side journey, along with the other journey
I am on...I mourned many things the other night...
and in the mourning..I choose to dress up and see me..right now...
today as I am!

I choose to embrace me...because sometimes...I am
as fragile as the most delicate glass...

Yet I am one tough cookie...because life has been that 'Big' that 
full of learning for me...

 ..I can say I am blessed and I am humbled..for this little side journey has taught me more and given me more..then it can ever take away from me...!!!  and I am so Proud to know
a bit of what it's be 'one of those women'
because personally speaking..they are the BEST!

 instead of focusing on scars and battle wounds...I am embracing the journey...because I know..all shall be well! ( thank you my beautiful Vicky you have taught me with your Grace)

This picture of Vicky's son's
stay out were everyone can see...
so that every moment I am aware and
 and pray for that miracle..and gift of time 
for Vicky and her family!
Next Wednesday I go in for the lumpectomy and...we shall see
what those cells are up too...
my greatest fear? my Achilles heal,.... is anesthesia
so now you know a little of my fear! :)

And by the way 
Your more then welcome to come along and dance 
with me!


  1. Oh honey- I am both so grateful that you are taking such good care of yourself and following through with all they are asking you to do- and at the same time I am so sad, that another one of those I love, has to walk this path too. Do they have a nurse navigator who can set you up with some support? Usually if you are alone, they will bring in a kind, compassionate nurse, or volunteer that can stay with you through all of it! I wish I could fly- I'd come- sweet one- I'd so be there in a heartbeat!

    Its okay to be vulnerable, sweet one. Fragile, yes. And now is definitely the time to love on yourself- as I will, and Linda will- all those who love you will.

    If they know how anxious you are about the anesthesia, often they can give you something to help you relax, some anti-anxiety like Xanax or Lorazepam. They just take the edge off the jittery nerves and anxious feelings, and help you stay peaceful. Don't be afraid to ask!

    You are beautiful, honey, strikingly perfect in every way that God has made you- inside and out- filled with Grace indeed! My prayers will change in earnest, now. Seeking comfort for you, and peace as well as the feeling that He is with you, YOU are not alone! We love you so!! xxoo

  2. Oh my sweet friend,
    Tears are streaming down my face as I read the magnitude of this. You had shared a bit before, but knowing all of this makes me want to come and hug you and remind you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

    I look at those photographs of you and I see God's daughter, gorgeous and perfect and wonderful and kind and brave and compassionate. Please, please know that I am here
    and with you in this journey. God sees you as His perfect daughter and He is here in the midst of it all.

    I am praying and praying for good results in all this testing. Wednesday I will be on my knees for you asking God to heal the cells that are causing problems. I will ask Him to give you strength and the greatest sense of His presence. He will be there with you, sweet Peggy, during that test.

    Please, please keep me posted. Know that I am here, no matter what! You bet I'll come along and dance with you!!
    Love you to the moon and back, little soul-sister!

  3. Hi Sweet Peggy,
    It's Wednesday and I know you had your procedure today. Keeping you in my prayers
    and wish I could be there with you. Know that He is! Loves and hugs and prayers, little soul sis!

  4. Thank you so much linda...doing better then I exspected :) a bit groggy so I will chat more later :)


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