Simply Peg's Place

L 'ame de la vie... 'The beautiful soul of life'

Friday, January 9, 2015

Refurbishing my life, my I refurbish one piece of furniture at a time...

Life's journey, has brought many changes these
past few months...

I was much like this dresser...I worked! I functioned,
Yet there was no beauty left, there was no joy,
there was no 'soul moments', when we fly free with
utter delight.

For over 22 years, I followed that still small voice,
I worked on my marriage with all I had.
over and over I tried everything the still small
voice told me, such as, 'love him more, be patient,
never get angry back, be kind, share what you feel,
and at one point I even thought we had a miracle...
wasn't I deserving of one? :).....
yet things went back to how they always were...
this time, the pain, and awareness came to a conclusion...
I didn't know what else to do...
I had loved unconditionally, I had forgiven,
I had so much excitement and fell in love again...
only to be put in my place, all communication ignored...

I became numb...I would stay...after all
that is what I am good at doing? I care so much for the human
being...others. Always putting them before myself...
I became numb and in that numbness
was a sadness like I had never known...

A sadness because I do believe in love!
kindness, respect, to honor and cherish...
a sadness because I was a shell of who I am suppose to be...

and then...then that still small voice spoke...
and gifts were put into my life...
I call them 'God' moments
as I became aware, I count too!
I am important, I have a right to be happy here...
and the only one that could make that happen
was me!  If I didn't put myself first...
who would?
my health was being affected...because
when we are sad, stressed..we cause damage to
our health....

And a beauty grew inside me...
that as much as I loved the human being I have been married too...
I was of equal importance!

I am so sensitive, so peaceful, so quiet and in wonder
at the beauty in this world..and all of Gods creation's
and I was living with someone who was opposite...
perhaps we were just very unevenly yoked?!!!

Sometimes, a journey comes to a end...because God can only
work with each of you separately...
because together was not healthy anymore.
(yes, this is a delicate subject and I am choosing my words
as wisely as I can..and yet still share)

I am starting all over if I was 20...
working at minimum wage...with My booth on the side...
and yet...

I am changing, growing..I feel a peace and tranquility I have yearned for...

I know without a doubt...the Lord has me in his hands...

I am excited about the 'possibilities' in my future. Dreams that can come
a reality!

I am slowly, one step at a time..becoming the best of me, 
once again...and when we are the best of ourselves...

God can work with us, much better! isn't joy in someone the
most attractive of all traits? joy and love and that spiritual

I am aiming be all the lord ever intended me to be!

This is truly the hardest thing I have ever done... it goes against what my norm
has been... and I am a person who never wants to cause someone else any pain.
and yet, I know this is what the Lord wants from me...

I ask for continued prayers...and prayers for the man I
was married to all these years. For I still care, still love him for the person
he has been and still pray for the lord to be there for him.

I know, without a doubt..I am going to be more then fine!
I have cherished friends and people who
know me! I have a peace and excitement I have not known in many many
and I am following that still small voice...
the Lord has this...he so has this!

I am becoming and un-becoming (words from Vicky Westra's blog)
and it is the perfect place for me!
I am refurbishing my life and my soul...
because no one else could do it...
but me! 


  1. Oh my dear friend, Peggy Sue,
    Tears stream down my face as I read every word of this soul-sharing honest and true and BRAVE, really brave. And as I look at every picture, of you and the dresser coming back to life, I see a new brightness and life in your eyes.

    Such a hard, hard decision and one made after so many, many efforts and so much prayer.
    I am so proud of you for presenting your journey with so much tact and care. I am so proud of you for having the courage to start over, clearly knowing that God would have you feel loved and cherished and important. I am so proud of you for sharing your story and being
    transparent and authentic.

    You have such a huge heart dear friend, so much to give and you are so generous in giving it. My life is so enriched by knowing you and your support and caring and love.

    So know this, sweet Peggy Sue, God is there in it all, the peaks and the hard valleys. He holds you in His mighty hand. His love is everlasting and never failing. And I want you to know that I am here too!

    Sending you HOPE and Joy and LOVE and prayers, always prayers.
    To the moon and back again!

  2. Linda, there are no words..none...accept Thank you! for seeing me...from the bottom of my heart Thank you!

  3. Peggy Sue, Linda is so exquisite in her words- I would add "ditto!" to what she said so well. I too, am so proud of you- of both who you are becoming and unbecoming :) What I truly feel you saying, is that you see your worth, your value- everything that God formed you to be! Love yourself, honey, love yourself well and the rest will keep falling into place. There is a light that glows around you- an easy, peaceful and calm light that glows, and I truly believe its because you are being who you are meant to be! So much love to you!!

  4. Vicky, thank you..I still have days I worry...but overall more peaceful...I am a work in progress...and this new path...not so easy for I am doing it different...and change isnt always easy when your knowen is a certain way.... Like with linda..there are now words for the gift of seeing me....from the bottom of my heart...Thank You!

  5. Dearest Peggy,
    Oh what a JOY it was to come home and find your precious card in the mail! I was grinning from ear-to-ear. You, my friend, are a love-giver and heart-expander. I have more love to give because of the LOVE you give so freely to me.

    Thank you, thank you for your sweet message. Holding my breath and praying BIG time for our sweet Vicky today. Believing that He is all powerful and asking for one more day and week and month and year for her.

    And how is your shop going? I so wish I was closer and could come visit and see in person all of the refurbishing you are doing. Most of all, I am praying that you would have the strength to see God's vision for your precious life. You are His daughter and He loves you beyond measure.

    Loves and hugs and prayers!


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