A year ago today....

I posted this a year ago today...perhaps I needed to put my feeling's

out there...

The churning beat goes on....its the beat of our hearts...waiting, not knowing...

yet knowing...soon.....soon the beat of one heart will be gone...

It will be the beat of a mothers heart, the soul of the family, the one who gave birth to us, 

the one who tried her best, the one who danced before  big window as the trains pulled into the station as a young girl, because she was lonely and a only child...

The one who was not afraid to leave all she new behind for a land called Australia, (and back then telegrams were the cheapest way of communication and later she did it again..and came to America) 

The one who sat with us after dinner with a orange peal in her mouth...cut to look like teeth..along with the rest of us...as she told stories about her life, the mom who laughed at herself..and with others 24/7.

 The mom, that with her accent was never understood in a fast food drive through, and that only made us laugh so hard we couldn't speak...or the fact, due to that, she got so nervous one day she gave her order to a brick wall..and I was laughing to hard to speak..and as she kept repeating herself..I was out of breath...trying to tell her that was a real wall!

 The churning beat goes on...and on...and on...and on...and even when the beat of this mothers heart stops.....it will never stop completely..for she beats in our hearts always...till the day we also journey home..and yet right now... my heart beats a churning beat...a endless churning beat....and I want to keep her.....

I love you more mom.....

(I cannot believe a year has passed already...a whole year.. still feels like yesterday

  miss you and  I Love you More Mom!)