When July came this year... and our mom was in Hospice... Life for me had become like a fog...nothing seemed real. It was summer and yet the sunshine didn't touch me like it usually did. Someone I loved so much was dying and I could do nothing at all to stop it... Yet, July came and it is a Birthday month in our family. I was aware it was my birthday month. But I had lost track of days...what day it was, what the date was, everything blended...
On July 17th our second oldest daughter had her 25th Birthday. That morning my mom was more awake. I said to her, "Would you like to leave a message for your granddaughter?" "Oh yes", she said. I quickly tex'd my daughter to NOT pick up the phone. My mom was going out again...and I quietly said, "Mom, here is the phone you can leave a message." she woke up and then said on the phone, "Happy Birthday Schatje, I hope you come see me again soon, you hang in there, I love you"....
'Schajte' is the dutch word for sweetheart! and my mom only uses Schajte with family members. This is My mom with our Daughter in Seattle. She was down there getting embolization for her liver in 2011. These two were always close. And I was thankful that she got to hear her Grandma's voice on her birthday. She cried when she got the message...Mom's voice so very weak...
It was only 4 days later On July 21st 2013 That my nephew had his 21st Birthday....
The handsome young man up front...and later that afternoon, My mom took her last breath. We new, we all new...that somehow things would happen during this birthday month...
We choose to have My mom's service a week later, so people from out of state would have time to come...we picked a Saturday...and that was when all of a sudden one of my siblings said, "Oh Peggy, it's your 49th Birthday". It didn't seem to matter. In some ways, honoring the woman/ my mother who gave me life and love...and saying goodbye on my 49th Birthday was always in the plan...it was just the way it was....
This is me and my man, on the day of my mom's service and my 49th Birthday July 27th 2013. I don't know what I would have done without my husbands utter support the past months through all this...He gave me a ring...black hills gold with 2 hearts inner twined...it was perfect...my mom and me...and No, just like Christmas songs will never be the same for me (see the silent night post) My Birthday,July will never be the same for me...It will be a day I honor the woman who gave me life and love and laughter....
Later, at the reception...
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The second oldest daughter (far right in this pic along with 3rd and 4th daughter) handed me her phone...and I hear, ""Happy Birthday Schatje, I hope you come see me again soon, you hang in there, I love you"....
And the tears came.......many tears...and somehow those same words now held so much more meaning....
And that brings us to the First memory pillow. The next one of my siblings to have a Birthday was my second to the youngest Brother...his was one month later on August 27, the one month anniversary of our mom being gone...sigh..
My mom has 6 children
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Here we are in 2009. getting us all together is very rare we all live in different states! From the back L-R there is me (I am 2nd oldest) then My sister (she is the oldest) then a brother (he is the 3rd oldest) in the front row L-R is the youngest :) and then the second youngest...and then the 4th oldest or 3rd youngest....hummm (did you follow all that???)
so this Pillow was made for the man in the middle, in the front row :)
In some ways, this brothers Pillow is going to be the easiest. I new just what fabric I wanted to use...the beautiful eggplant color purple was the dress my mom wore at his and his wife's beautiful, fun, big, gorgeous wedding on a July day in 2010. I new it also would match my sister in-laws decor. the print fabric is from a skirt my mom wore. My mom wore skirts and dress's all the time. I embellished it with a button and vintage lace and a tie back that was on the shoulder of her dress with the lil crystal prism's...and then i added one more thing.....
I added Schatje..... because that is what she called us all......
The back of the pillow...and....
Our mom in this dress, In july 2010 at my brother's wedding, having the time of her life..and dancing with her oldest daughter, my sister...(this is a favorite picture of them both)
Our last Picture with our mom. I am so glad I asked my husband to take this. it was in June, after I had gone to the emergency room with her...when Hospice was called in..and when I called my siblings..and less then 24 hours later...we all were there..together...because having us together is something that gave my mom the greatest joy.... The memory pillow I made my brother, reminded me of this journey...how alive and happy and healthy she always was...and months after the wedding, she had shingles..and then her cat scratched her and it became an infection to her with a fever...Our mom was never sick...of course we know why now...because 11 months after that picture of her dancing with my sister. she was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer....and as I make these pillows I get to remember those good times...the life she lived...it's not just a gift to my siblings..it's a gift to remember the happier times after the events of these past months...
You can read my mom's obituary who she was, and how much she was loved with the link below...
http://www.ravallirepublic.com/news/local/obituaries/article_04560740-f403-11e2-a055-001a4bcf887a.html
This is our first picture together and so far our last...with our mom gone. Taken the day before her service.... One of the siblings said, "why? the person who loved the pic's of us together is gone"...my reply..."that's why...because she wants us to all stick together." yes, you see smile's in these pictures..but trust me..there were many tears....
This was a song I sent my mom..and one I sang to her in April..because simply stated it's what I wanted and felt....
http://youtu.be/2UWx-shGM0g
Live each day with joy, make memories and choose love, not chaos!...for time sometimes slips away, faster then we could ever know....
On July 17th our second oldest daughter had her 25th Birthday. That morning my mom was more awake. I said to her, "Would you like to leave a message for your granddaughter?" "Oh yes", she said. I quickly tex'd my daughter to NOT pick up the phone. My mom was going out again...and I quietly said, "Mom, here is the phone you can leave a message." she woke up and then said on the phone, "Happy Birthday Schatje, I hope you come see me again soon, you hang in there, I love you"....
'Schajte' is the dutch word for sweetheart! and my mom only uses Schajte with family members. This is My mom with our Daughter in Seattle. She was down there getting embolization for her liver in 2011. These two were always close. And I was thankful that she got to hear her Grandma's voice on her birthday. She cried when she got the message...Mom's voice so very weak...
It was only 4 days later On July 21st 2013 That my nephew had his 21st Birthday....
The handsome young man up front...and later that afternoon, My mom took her last breath. We new, we all new...that somehow things would happen during this birthday month...
We choose to have My mom's service a week later, so people from out of state would have time to come...we picked a Saturday...and that was when all of a sudden one of my siblings said, "Oh Peggy, it's your 49th Birthday". It didn't seem to matter. In some ways, honoring the woman/ my mother who gave me life and love...and saying goodbye on my 49th Birthday was always in the plan...it was just the way it was....
This is me and my man, on the day of my mom's service and my 49th Birthday July 27th 2013. I don't know what I would have done without my husbands utter support the past months through all this...He gave me a ring...black hills gold with 2 hearts inner twined...it was perfect...my mom and me...and No, just like Christmas songs will never be the same for me (see the silent night post) My Birthday,July will never be the same for me...It will be a day I honor the woman who gave me life and love and laughter....
Later, at the reception...
.jpg)
The second oldest daughter (far right in this pic along with 3rd and 4th daughter) handed me her phone...and I hear, ""Happy Birthday Schatje, I hope you come see me again soon, you hang in there, I love you"....
And the tears came.......many tears...and somehow those same words now held so much more meaning....
And that brings us to the First memory pillow. The next one of my siblings to have a Birthday was my second to the youngest Brother...his was one month later on August 27, the one month anniversary of our mom being gone...sigh..
My mom has 6 children
.jpg)
Here we are in 2009. getting us all together is very rare we all live in different states! From the back L-R there is me (I am 2nd oldest) then My sister (she is the oldest) then a brother (he is the 3rd oldest) in the front row L-R is the youngest :) and then the second youngest...and then the 4th oldest or 3rd youngest....hummm (did you follow all that???)
so this Pillow was made for the man in the middle, in the front row :)
In some ways, this brothers Pillow is going to be the easiest. I new just what fabric I wanted to use...the beautiful eggplant color purple was the dress my mom wore at his and his wife's beautiful, fun, big, gorgeous wedding on a July day in 2010. I new it also would match my sister in-laws decor. the print fabric is from a skirt my mom wore. My mom wore skirts and dress's all the time. I embellished it with a button and vintage lace and a tie back that was on the shoulder of her dress with the lil crystal prism's...and then i added one more thing.....
The back of the pillow...and....
Our last Picture with our mom. I am so glad I asked my husband to take this. it was in June, after I had gone to the emergency room with her...when Hospice was called in..and when I called my siblings..and less then 24 hours later...we all were there..together...because having us together is something that gave my mom the greatest joy.... The memory pillow I made my brother, reminded me of this journey...how alive and happy and healthy she always was...and months after the wedding, she had shingles..and then her cat scratched her and it became an infection to her with a fever...Our mom was never sick...of course we know why now...because 11 months after that picture of her dancing with my sister. she was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer....and as I make these pillows I get to remember those good times...the life she lived...it's not just a gift to my siblings..it's a gift to remember the happier times after the events of these past months...
You can read my mom's obituary who she was, and how much she was loved with the link below...
http://www.ravallirepublic.com/news/local/obituaries/article_04560740-f403-11e2-a055-001a4bcf887a.html
This is our first picture together and so far our last...with our mom gone. Taken the day before her service.... One of the siblings said, "why? the person who loved the pic's of us together is gone"...my reply..."that's why...because she wants us to all stick together." yes, you see smile's in these pictures..but trust me..there were many tears....
This was a song I sent my mom..and one I sang to her in April..because simply stated it's what I wanted and felt....
http://youtu.be/2UWx-shGM0g
Live each day with joy, make memories and choose love, not chaos!...for time sometimes slips away, faster then we could ever know....
Oh Peggy Sue- so beautiful!! Truly- just exquisitely written with your heart and soul pouring through each picture, each well-crafted sentence chalk full of treasured memories. I'm teary-eyed and yet joy-filled all at once. What a treasure your mother was- and my jaw dropped when you said her service was on your birthday. My father's service, was on my wedding anniversary and I felt honored in much the same way you did. Thank you for sharing your sweet family with us! What a true gift to read :) Hugs and love to you dear one!
ReplyDeleteThank you Vicky! I still cant put into words the full journey. And Its still hard to believe she is gone.... Yes, I did feel honored...I kind of new that something would happen on my birthday.... aaah sigh. You however are such a inspiration to me :) hugs and prayers always!
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